Pulse Issue 2: 2023

Cigarette House

by: Addyson Douglas

Dawn shows her face on the cigarette house, tar doors and burnt furniture
I start my morning with tears that gave up their race down my cheek
Nobody won
Covers flick off the ash, even the inanimate can’t stand what they have no feelings for
I stand up and become my bedding
The taste of wheezing so familiar
No matter what I serve on the tobacco table, I have no tongue left for anything else
Seated in my designated chair, the smoke comes to play
My eyes and feet aflame yet again
There is no door, there is no door
Arms out, I try
Clawing through polluted air with gnawed nails and promise
Breathe it in, you’ll never breathe it again
I know and that is the point
My lips yearned for tobacco’s end, the only kiss that didn’t lie to me
But I now hold my flowers to my chest and let lungs do what they’re supposed to do
This body will learn to stop craving the tar of deceit

Addyson Douglas (she/her) is an actress, writer, singer and dancer, currently in her second year of OCAD University’s Creative Writing. She has previously studied Novel Writing at George Brown College and has been mentored by Celeste Dador for a young adult novel that is currently under revision. As an actress, she just recently completed a major feature film and some of her previous credits include “The Next Step” (Family Channel), “Dare Me” (USA Network/Netflix) and “Spice It Up” (Official VIFF selection).