Pulse Issue 2: 2023

phonograph matrix (hi mom)

by: G. Morgan

tw: mention of surgery, blood

I am a guest.

this is not the guest room.

I came home to you an ocean away.

I crawled into your bed

and felt miniscule.

a woman unfolds

to cover every surface here,

a woman I barely know.

there are no faces

in the paintings

on the walls.

this was my room once.

the walls are still

the same colour—

upset stomach pink.

I didn't ask if I could be this small

or be wrapped up

or be here, at this exact latitude,

in this longing for

a woman I barely know.

I could have called.

I could have asked.

top ten strangest job titles we found on real listings:

mother repairer.

I have been making lists

these past few days,

lists of things

that could replace a name.

director. docent. archivist. artist

I have been feeling

like a guest

in the world

and in my body.

I have been close to the surface lately,

blue creeks rushing through soft summer

still, still.

I am trying hard

not to let myself dry out

so I don't get my blood

on your sheets.

I am a guest.

a fact about brain surgery:

the safest place to house

a removed piece of your skull

is sewn into your abdomen.

each of the faceless people in the paintings

are paired

and sharing an umbrella

except for one.

they are facing away.

they are all waiting,

still and waiting,

still waiting.

your plane touches our shared ground

the day I leave the city.

we will pass

on the highway.

I am sitting alone

in a room full of cut cords

and trying not to bleed.

I am a guest.

this is not the guest room.

g. morgan (any pronouns) is a multimedia artist, writer, & performer currently working primarily in written & audio fiction, poetry, comics, and story-based video games. he is passionate about horror, monstrosity & humanity, and queerness. their work is often soaked in love, grief, change & fluidity, (dis)comfort, and the weird. morgan hopes to offer catharsis and a bit of magic to the world with his work, but failing that, a little laugh or scratch of the head will do. find more at: https://linktr.ee/heebleeart